I didn’t think it would be that different having a girl, but this fat little baby has totally changed how I see myself.
My body image has always been ok, my parents did a great job never making negative comments about my body. Even when my skin was bad or I made questionable fashion choices or I put on weight, they would focus on the quality of my character…which I’m so thankful for! But this didn’t stop my mum making comments about her own appearance (mum I know you’re reading this and you’re a smoking hot babe), this combined with what I learned from friends, the media etc I knew that my body wasn’t good. And what I mean by good is that if you got to choose your body from a body catalog, mine wouldn’t be in the clearance section…but it would for sure be on sale.
Fun fact, I’ve been wearing swimsuits with board shorts since I was 13. I remember going to the pool in year 7 with my class, looking at the tiny girls that surrounded me and then looking down at my boobs and full ass (puberty had hit me hard, fast and early) and knowing that my body wasn’t the ideal. Next time I went swimming I had shorts to my knees to cover my ‘problem area’.
I’m 34 now and in February this year I gave birth to my second child, Margot…or Baby Margot as we all call her. I’m fiercely defensive of both of my children, but having a daughter is different. I’ve suddenly become aware of how I see myself and how my words and example can send her down a path or self love or loathing. So I’ve decided to change. At the beginning of November I wore a bathing suit for the first time without board shorts in almost 20 years. I was nervous, nervous to be judged for my cellulite covered thighs. But I did it anyway and it was liberating! The fact is I’m more than my cellulite and stretch marks, I’m more than my small waist and giant smile, this body of mine is a tool, a vessel and an example to my daughter.
The swimsuit is just the start, me realising that my body is good is making me want to have other woman feel this way. This has been the largest contributing factor to me wanting to photograph women in their underwear. My body that jiggles is just as valuable and wonderful as all the perky assed women I go to yoga with. Skinny bodies, fat bodies, broken bodies, fit bodies are all the same, they’re all good and should be celebrated.
If you’re interested in me photographing you in your underwear get in touch!